Hello. Like I said on the front page, my name is Randal! I will now tell you about myself.

WARNING: This page is very long. Please be aware of that.

RELEASE YEAR: over 17 years ago

I was born and raised in a sprawling suburbia somewhere on the East Coast with a strikingly boring life from birth, and an even emptier one as time goes on. Most of my time is spent trying to get my feet on the ground, my head out of the clouds, and better myself as much as I possibly can. And eating food. A lot of my time is spent on making and eating food. The rest is just me sitting around waiting for something interesting to do.

FAVORITE MEAL OF THE DAY: Breakfast
PLACE OF ORIGIN: the East Coast of North America

I enjoy cooking, but mostly and especially when I am listening to a podcast (typically The Adventure Zone, big fan, I think it's embarrassingly evident everywhere on this website) or some kind of music. Because of the fact that I enjoy cooking to a certain degree, and have mentioned that, kitchen tools have been the only thing I've recieved for Christmas for the past two years. Unfortunately, despite my mediocrity in the culinary field, I am pretty bad at baking.

WEAKNESS: Baking
FAVORITE PODCAST: The Adventure Zone
FAVORITE CAMPAIGN: Ethersea

I spend most of my time alone. I relish the moments where I am outside and there is not one other soul I am cognizant of or who is cognizant of me, like at relatively deserted beaches, or outside in the middle of freezing snowy nights. I also like to stand in the rain for extended periods of time.

MAGNUS ARCHIVES ENTITY ALIGNMENT: The Lonely
FAVORITE ELEMENTS: Water, spirit

In my free time, which is all of it, I do a variety of things OTHER than the things mentioned prior.
Most days, and I mean genuinely most days, I go to one of the local Starbucks locations, and get ice. Specifically an ice water with extra ice and three cups of ice. I eat ice a lot. Most of the employees are very displeased with this but there are some that don't really mind which is always nice. Sometimes I do buy coffee too, not just ice. I enjoy coffee. My signature drink is an iced shaken espresso sub classic for toffee nut + 1 pump extra with extra ice. You should try it. I usually get a medium. That drink is the taste of many pleasant days of going to stores because that is my only activity outside of my house. I like to go to thrift stores. I also do journaling as a means of getting my thoughts out and documenting my life and thoughts.

STRANGE PERSONAL FACT: I eat insane amounts of ice all the time. I even have an ice machine, but I prefer Starbucks ice over anything, and don't use it often. I am drinking slash eating an ice water from Starbucks as I write this page, actually.
SIGNATURE STARBUCKS DRINK: Modified Iced Shaken Espresso

Other than that, I like to collect things. In previous years, I was a collector of limited edition sodas, snacks, and cereals, but after a few years, I no longer felt a connection to it. After a lot of ruminating on who I am, I packed it into boxes and gutted my display shelves to make room for new items. I still sometimes feel the urge to collect soda and cereal (like the Peeps Pepsi, which I couldn't resist buying as Pepsi is my favorite soda and I am a big Peeps fan). I have collected vinyl versions of music I enjoy since about a year before I started collecting snack and drink but I am not dedicated to it. I don't listen to them that much and I don't have more than maybe 10 or 15.

Currently, and also briefly side by side with my previous snack and drink collecting, I collect electronics. Well, I have a few. I have my laptop (Hi, that's what I'm using to write this!) (estimated 2007-2011), a camcorder (2014, did not pay for), two cassette recorders (unknown dates, estimated 80s), two microcassette recorders (see: cassette recorders), a keytar (1987), some kind of Gameboy that belonged to my sisters when they were younger (unknown, did not pay for), a Nintendo DS Lite (estimated 2006-???), a Wii (unknown, did not pay for), an S-VHS camera (not sure if it works, too scared to try it after it made a loud noise and the power brick made my lights flicker),two portable CD players (unknown, did not pay for), an old TV monitor with an optical drive (unknown, garage sale), a white PS2 Slim (estimated 2004, my mom got it for the family when I was a kid), a 3DS XL (modded of course) (2011-2016? I think?), my PC/monitors (2021), a Casio touch-light keyboard (somewhere in the 2000s, thrifted), a better Casio keyboard (2019, christmas present), a neat little radio/cassette/CD boombox (manufactured 2005, did not pay for), a Wacom Intuos Pro tablet (which I do all of my art on and always have)(2014/2015, some kind of present), a shitty Victrola suitcase record player (2019), my old MSi laptop that I kicked off a bed and was broken for almost the entire time I used it that can't close or be unplugged ever (2018, christmas present), and a Blue Yeti microphone (which I also did not pay for). Not too much. Nothing greatly impressive, per se, but things I thoroughly enjoy for the most part. My favorites are my laptop, my tape recorders, and my keytar. I also get the most use out of them. I use my laptop nigh every day.
I do collect random small things like Stop & Shop's "Savory Magazine", I've been doing that since 2017, but I'm not dedicated or anything. I just grab them when I go grocery shopping. So there are many gaps in my "collection". But I save them all and have a giant stack or two.
I also collect small papers, advertisements I can manage to grab with nice graphic design, and for some reason fish and fishing related memorobilia. I have a fish windchime, a fish shaped graphic pillow, a fish Christmas tree ornament, a small laminated field guide about fish in the Northeast United States, and a desk sign that says "Work sucks. I'm going fishing.". I don't know why. I don't care about fish and I don't even go fishing. I guess it started as a joke with the desk sign because of fishing memes. But I still grab stuff related to fish and fishing when I see it after three or so years, so I guess it counts as something I collect.

I will be making a page for my electronics at some point. This is clunky.
P.S. the years there are for when they were manufactured or released, not when I acquired them, but some of the newer ones were bought same year. "did not pay for" means I got them by being given them, not that I just stole the, or something.

HOBBY: Collecting various items, some very un-serious and pointless in subject matter.
LIKES: Tape recorders, tape recording, silver electronics
USELESS PERSONAL FACT: Owns many instruments but cannot seriously play any of them
CAMCORDER MODEL: Canon Vixia HF-R50
LAPTOP MODEL: Panasonic Let's Note CF-S9 in silver (Japan)
KEYTAR MODEL: Yamaha SHS-10 in silver

Here's a drawing of myself with some descriptors I did for a Spotify playlist cover.
I would not call myself an artist, but I draw myself semi-regularly. Usually for use online as profile pictures or playlist covers, but also to conceptualize my identity. I used to be a lot more into art. As a kid, I wanted to be an animator, but a few years ago I sort of fell off art... and never fell back on. But like I said, I draw sometimes. But I'm not an artist. Not in a digital art or traditional art way, anyway. I don't know what kind of artist I am. I guess I am just an artist in spirit. I am drawn to aesthetics and such naturally... even if they aren't the most appealing to others. I used to be very into the aliens-cryptids-ghosts-space aesthetic (cryptidcore but also with notes of Dib from Invader Zim), but I mostly grew out of it. Don't get it twisted, though, I do still mildly enjoy it! It's just no longer my number one. Or two. Or three. Or even four. That's besides the point. I like the corporate-9 to 5-capitalism aesthetic (corporatecore, I coined that term in 2020, the only time it was used before that was a vaporwave-style blog on Tumblr), and the old web aesthetic (webcore) too (obviously, I have a vintage-ly themed homepage...).

LIKED AESTHETICS: Corporatecore (2020-present), old web (2021-present), nautical themes, whatever the hell Bee and Puppycat has going on, whatever the hell The Adventure Zone has going on, sometimes 80's stuff, and definitely more that I don't remember off the top of my head
(NO LONGER) DESIRED CHILDHOOD CAREER: Animator
CREATOR OF: The corporatecore aesthetic
MY AESTHETIC ORIGINS: Cryptidcore (2020-2022), scene phase (2020), clowncore (2019)

Also, my favorite color is teal. That's why there's a lot of it on this page, as it's supposed to give you an accurate glimpse of me. Although I am getting kind of sick of it. I like blue and green as well. Sometimes yellow, lately.

FAVORITE COLOR: Teal

I had a segment here and I've redacted it because I don't really like how I worded it but it was basically "I love listening to Lemon Demon and also Neil's cool internet stuff from over the years interests me" and then I started talking about my favorite internet stuff and the guys who made it. thats the jist

FAVORITE MUSICIAN: Lemon Demon
INTERNET GUYS WHO HAVE INSPIRED ME: Griffin McElroy, Neil Cicierega

Last year I took a liking to plants, but recently I've become more interested. I want to learn about foraging. I also have become interested in mushrooms in past recent months. I still do not know that much about either of these subjects, but I love the concept a lot, and I enjoy nature in general. So I figured I should mention it here as well.

LIKES: Nature, fungi

I also enjoy sitting outside on top of folded cardboard boxes. It's very nice. Sunsets are nice too, but they make me feel rather empty, and honestly I'm a bit sick of them because going out for the sunset has been one of my only activities for years. I recently discovered that I'm more of a morning person. I like to wake with the sun. Or preferably even before the sun! I enjoy the dark stage of the morning, but I like the sun as well. I like daytime. I used to enjoy the night a lot, but the day makes me feel better, and like sunsets: nighttime sometimes makes me feel quite empty. A knawing, hollow, gaping emptiness. I think if I have something to fill it with in the future I'll enjoy the night more. I don't hate it. I don't mind it, usually. Don't get it twisted. :^).

MORNING OR NIGHT PERSON: Definitely a morning person

Also, on the topic of simple things like "morning vs night person", I'm a cat person. I have a cat. Kind of two. I don't like dogs. I think they're germy and revolting most of the time. Sometimes they're cute. I like borzois. I'd get a borzoi. But most of the time they're gross and sometimes they're intimidating.

CATS OR DOGS: Cats
OPINION ON DOGS: Negative
FAVORITE DOG BREED: Borzoi
PERSONAL FACT: I'm a germaphobe

Alright. I think that's enough. I wrote a lot. Is this an internet safety issue? *absolutely*... but it's more for myself than anything. I'm sure I'll re-vamp it again eventually and take a lot of stuff out.

Thank you for reading all of this! I know I sure wouldn't. If you'd like to know more I guess you'll have to talk to me. But honestly, I think you know enough now. You've got enough Randy knowledge to last a lifetime. I don't know why you care about this. But thank you for reading anyway. I hope you got some enjoyment out of it, and I hope you like my site! I'll add a QnA section at some point, and a FAQ if need be, so you can still send your questions and accolades into my guestbook. See you later!

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "You Know Way Too Much About a Guy You Don't Know"